The News...As I see it and report it..

So I haven't been posting that much lately. Big Friggedy Do...

Let's chaulk it up to me catching up with the News Around the world. Let me recap.

1. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have given birth to their child. I believe the name is "Suri I'm not going to have a normal life ever" Congrats to them for a healthy baby girl. I belive it was a 7 pound Scientologist that shot out of Katie's vagina. I heard John Travolta was the midwife. Also in attendence over a large widescreen was L Ron Hubbard himself. SHALOM Tom and Katie!!!

2. Gas prices have steadily increased while sales of Hybrid cars have slowly decreased. That makes sense doesn't it. Cause really when gas is over $3 a gallon I want to cruise around in my Cadilac Escalade rollin on 23's. WORD. How conveinent that gas started shooting up right around the turn of the spring/summer season. If I remember correctly didn't that happen last year than suddenly gas when down in the fall. I smell something fishy. I think his name is George Bush. Yeah no price gaughing here.

3. Speaking of George Bush reports have it that his overall rating has dropped significantly. Hmmmm I didn't see that happening. I mean if the rednecks in the red states voted for him shouldn't he be a good president? Damn Biblepushers....How do you like the country now?

4. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are off in some third world country trying to organize the birth of their "Love Child" You know I don't see what purpose can come of this. What point are they trying to make? Do they really plan on doing what the natives do and give birth to a child on a dirt rug? I doubt it. I'm thinking more of some type of extravaganza will be had as the natives get the honor of serving the handsome couple. Money and fame do sure change people.

5. The NFL draft is upon us. Will it be Matt Leinhart or Vince Young that go #1? Does it really matter for they will for sure make more money than I will ever see in my lifetime.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

This just in.

It appears aging Rocker of the gay band Bon Jovi Richie Sambora is bedding Denise Richards. Denise Richards formerly the better half of the marriage with Charlie Sheen.
I don't know what is worse. That Richie Sambora as ugly as he is can land women like Heather Locklear and Denise Richards or that Denise Richards can't find someone to feed her the BONE who is under the age of 30. Which is the lesser of two evils?

That folks is the news as I see it for April the 25th. The year 2006.